Days 14-17.

January 14-16, 11: Zion Retreat! Whattap! I really enjoyed it, but I really need to work on my patience. There were some instances I got really ticked off/annoyed/frustrated/mad at people and situations and I could've handled it better. I tried breathing it out and speak calmly which was successful in some cases but it was still obvious that I was agitated. Some I feel were appropriate responses because I feel like people don't take me seriously so they just disregard me and keep doing what they're doing. But either way, I feel like I could've handled it better. Come on, the theme was LOVE. I really enjoyed the fellowship and bonding time. Even just waking up early to cook for everyone with staff was so humbling and so fun. I think having advisors as speakers made it more intimate because they knew us. It was a blessing to witness and experience the advisors' love for us. By simply spending time with us, playing with us, talking with us, cooking and cleaning with us really showed that they care. I learned to love in the same way. I loved talking to some people I normally don't or don't talk to besides surface things and getting to know them. After a year I finally finished Small Group Leaders' Handbook and I feel like there's just more things to add on my list to dos. So much time and effort and prayer and love goes into a small group & fellowship. WE GOT THIS!

17th: Yesterday, some church friends discussed taking the kids out today, but canceled it earlier today. I couldn't help but judge one for canceling cause I'm pretty sure it was out of laziness. I had a talk last week with a staff member and after that, I can't help but internally criticize and question the other staff member. I'm having a hard time understanding what's going on and loving in all aspects. It's gonna take some time to love here. Anyways, I saw this as a chance to step up and show that I really care. In the past year, I've been pretty MIA so I don't even know what these kids are going through. We didn't do much and it made me think past Bible study teachers have done for me as a kid. Even just taking the time to take me out to have fun and paying for me. I can't even do that. It made me think how I can love these kids during the year by investing time. It's gonna take a lot of commitment.

HAHA.