Sometimes it means to shut your pie hole and contain yourself. Even when you feel like you're about to burst and think screaming and punching will make you feel so much better. That's not love.

HAHA.

I've slowly been learning to be more patient and openly loving spending time with the girl I babysit. I thank God that this is something I enjoy! I was feeling a bit out of it today and was feeling very impatient, but really because of God, I was able to take a step back and compose myself and love more.

A brother of mine surprised me with his kindness. He knows about my state of confusion as to what to do with my liiiiife. So not too long ago he asked me if there was anything he can pray for and I told him I need vision! direction! While talking today, he told me that he tries to pray for me everyday. How comforting and encouraging is that! Thank you brother. You have no idea how much I appreciate your looking out for me.

HAHA.

Yesterday, a friend had a team walking in the Buddy Walk and with another friend, we went to go show some support :) woop woop!

Today, a friend said she needed to talk so when we both had some free time we talked it out.

HAHA.

By the grace of God I stopped to think instead of reacting. Hopefully this is just the beginning. To show unconditional love instead of getting mad and expressing that anger.

HAHA.

Interesting, not something I'm used to, tension-filled, but had a good moment with my accountability friend. We were both upset, but with his help we were able to talk honestly and that really helped. I need more people to push me to speak the truth in love. Right?!

HAHA.

An exchange of fears and reassuring words/encouragements.

HAHA.

A friend needed help doing some stuff for a project - print, cut, fold, assemble. I was free in the morning so I went to go help. FUN. Bitter memories of doing this kind of work at school is slowly being replaced by FUN ones like today. Thank you, God.

HAHA.

Coinky Dink!

That's pretty cool..today as I was getting out the turnstiles about to leave the train station, a flustered man stood in front of me. He had a really anxious look on his face and he was going through his pocket. He saw me and just asked if I could swipe him in so I did.

HAHA.

excuse me, miss

Hmm, so today I was running a few minutes late to my pt appointment so I was walking a bit fast. Out of nowhere, this lady stopped me and asked me a question. I had my headphone on so I didn't hear her at first. Then she repeated herself and said "I'm really embarrassed, but do you have an unlimited metrocard to swipe me in? I don't have a metrocard." My first instinct was to point her towards the metrocard machines and tell her to get one. But when I looked at her, I saw that she seemed a bit ruffled up, her hair was messy but not too messy and she had a cap on. She had a whole bunch of bags with her, most were plastic and looked extremely heavy. She had a luggage sticker from the airport taped to one of her shopping bags and it just seemed like she needed a little love. I told her that I didn't have an unlimited metrocard but I had a cash one so I could swipe her in. She said "thank you" a couple times, smiled and then started carrying all her bags. She was holding all her bags (which was a total of about four) trying to walk through the turnstile but the turnstile wouldn't turn. So she put two bags down, walked through and turned around to get the other two bags. Since I was right there, I reached down for the bags (boy, where they heavy!) and gave them to her over the turnstile and she thanked me and smiled again. :)

then I went on my merry little way to my pt appointment.

Yelp.

A friend needed some support setting some stuff up and handling a couple things so I was able to help a sister out. Had a meeting where we were supposed to get free food, but the food came late! A friend had to leave early, but asked me to get some food for her so did my thing.

HAHA.

Walk it out.

Went to the doctor with my mom and cousin in the morning and planned to get some food after then food shopping. Then my mom remembered that she had to get the van fixed so we went to drop it off at the shop and the workers said it would take a long while. So we walked a couple blocks to a diner and planned to go food shopping after then walk home, but as we were walking the shop called and said our van would be fixed in the hour. After eating at the diner, my mom suggested me and my cousin just walk home cause it was a long walk and she didn't want us to do all that. We didn't want to leave momma alone so we walked with her and did what we had to do. And momma let me drive home!

HAHA.

Hustle!

Today was a very chill day. Did what I had to do in the morning and was just chilling at home before fellowship. A friend texted me about two hours before to see where I was because she got out to the city early and was by herself. Even though I was still about an hour away, I hustled my best to get out and chill with her for a short while.

HAHA.

Hello Alfredo

When I got home today my gramma told me I was on my own for dinner since my parents went out. I texted my brother to see what was up with him and he said he was eating out. My cousin still hadn't come home and since I wasn't hungry, I decided to continue cleaning and organizing my room. I started getting hungry, but I was too determined to finish what I started to stop. And there was no premade food and I didn't care enough to make dinner so I just kept cleaning. When my cousin came home, I found out she didn't eat dinner either. So I asked her what she wanted to eat and ordered food for us.

HAHA.

So I've been getting very nervous about going to Thailand. I have a big fear of failing and letting others down. During prayer meeting, I paired up with someone who went to Thailand this summer (and another year before) and I shared my worries/fears. This sister shared her experience, dropped some wisdom, offered her help, and encouraged/reassured me. We had some time to talk about something else I wanted her input on and just through that short time of sharing and prayer, I see that I need to seek God more and trust in Him more. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

HAHA.

Felt some of momma's love today. Whenever I go home past the time she gets home, I almost always call her to let her know when I'm on my way. I called her as usual tonight and let her know I'll be home around 8. After passing out on the train and walking home all drowsy, I see a familiar black blurb of a woman that looks like my mom walking a large rat like creature that looks like my dog walking my way. She came out of the house to meet me halfway :) Thanks momma <3

HAHA.

Technology can be very very awesome if used well. Today was a good day of sharing encouragements and being reassured by my brothers and sisters. Some very surprising, but I'm glad I'm getting to know them better!

HAHA.

I had a friend's football gloves, but completely forgot to get it to her. By the time I realized, I was already in the train station on the way back to Brooklyn. I tried calling from inside the train station, but the pay phone wasn't really working. Yeah there are still some pay phones lying around! I was thinking about just leaving, but I knew she needed them so I got out the train station to get it to her.

HAHA.

SIIIIIR!

So I went biking with some friends yesterday and on the way I noticed a family walking on the other side of the block. The pops was holding the child in his arms while the momma was walking with the stroller ahead of them. The pops had all his attention on his son that he didn't notice his son kicking off one of shoes, dropping it on the sidewalk. I didn't really know what to do since I was across the street in the city with two-way traffic between us so I just screamed "SIIIIR! SIIIIR! SIIIR WITH THE BABY! YOU DROPPED A SHOE!" and the momma turned around first (guess when you're a mom and you hear "baby" you immediately think of your own haha) then the pops, realized what happened, and picked up the shoe.

Cool story bro..hahaha

HAHA.

OH.SNAP.

I am so sorry for totally being MIA this summer! TERRIBLE :( A sister of mine actually brought up this blog last night. I've been avoiding coming back cause I felt ashamed for giving up halfway through the year. My apologies! But this summer was AMAZING. I got to know a lot of friends better and it was really stressful at some points, but I definitely showed and received a lot of love & kindness. So thank you everyone who made my summer what it was. I really really appreciate. And now I really really miss the summer.

Anyway! September started not too long ago, so I will restart this month!

1st: My cousin had summer vacation homework and needed to go to a museum so I accompanied her =)

2nd-5th: SUMMER CONFERENCE! WHAT WHAT! Oh my gaaa, so much love! I was super uptight and stressed at different times..more in the beginning (I think), but with some advice and good good conversations and memorable times of prayer from a lot of people, I felt much calmer and ready for the year. I shared that I burned out this summer and with all the stress, I kind of forgot about the joy in serving. During testimony night and hearing everyone share, I was reminded of the joy in the heart of serving. During the weekend, I was also reminded of that excitement I used to get when praying with and for others. Thank you thank you thank you. I'm coming back!

6th: A friend was going back to school so I accompanied him to the bus =)

7th: A friend of mine drove me home after prayer meeting. Not sure if he wanted to, but it was really nice of him. Thanks!

8th: A fairly new friend of mine had bought those 2 movie tickets for $9 a while ago through Fandango. The deal is supposed to expire today and he knew he wasn't going to use it so he offered it to me and a couple of friends for free so that was really generous of him.

9th: I'm helping a friend with a project so I had to run some errands to get materials. FUN :) Saw a man on the street with a sign that said "Looking for some kindness" and at first I just walked away as usual, but I just felt something and I saw a hot dog stand a few feet away so I decided to get him something small. It wasn't much of a conversation, but he was really grateful. I need to stop walking by..

HAHA.